I had sort of had a crash course in the boys, and pieced the rest of them together from what I had heard. As I said, these guys had been together for years. The day after my run in with Neil, and the subsequent invitation to friendship, I was now privy to all the dirt on Michael. The problem was I wasn't sure how much of the information was accurate. Craig had been widely known as a compulsive liar. The stories were usually about himself, but when he made up something about other people, it was outrageous. The sad part was everyone knew he was a liar, but listened to him anyway. He would try to convince you so vigorously that eventually you just gave in. No matter how unlikely the details. He had said that his Dad fought a bear, that he swallowed and shit out a 100$ bill. He failed grade one, so I guess I shouldn't expect that they would be strings of genius. I had to learn all about these three on the fly. I was at the bottom of this little gang, and there was no way that Shane or Neil would allow movement up the chain. After all, Michael had known them for years, and he was dropped in a snap.
Craig lived a few doors down from the school in a house that was being built by his father. Between the moment I moved to the Ridge to the time I left was ten years, and I never saw any improvement on that house. It looked the exact same as the first day I'd been there, to the last. wooden floors awaiting carpet, exposed wiring, and studs. His parents seemed like nice people. His Mom was over weight, and poured into a material chair almost every time I saw her. She watched TV in the room that would be a living room. His father was booming voiced behemoth. I don't know if he ever fought a bear, but he was certainly big enough too. He had large construction hands, that wrapped around bottled beer whenever I saw him. Craigs' brother Chris was a menace, and I can only assume that something in that home life created these two assholes. Chris fought, stole, smoked, drank and did drugs, and he was only three years older than us. Of course he was only in grade 8 because he too had failed a grade or two. That's why he was king of the school, he'd been there the longest.
Shane's family lived on a huge piece of land ten minutes away from Craig. His step father was this round egg shaped man who had plenty of money. His Mom was attractive, and way out of his league, but was afforded a fantastic lifestyle. They had a pool, and motorbikes. I assumed that Craig would hate Shane for this reason, but didn't. They would make comments about Michael being rich, because his step father was dentist, but Shane lived way larger than him. Shane also had an older brother, but he was quiet, and was deeply into electronics. The field behind their house stretched on for what seemed forever. In the distance was the tree line where we would adventure and talk about life. There were ponds and acres and acres of undiscovered forrest. It's too bad that so much of my memory is on the terrible parts of childhood and not those moments trekking through the trees. They were truly wonderful adventures. Craig would explain why everyone else was a pussy, including us, and then regale us with tales of his conquests. He would tell us about boobs he saw, cigarettes he smoked, and then belittle us one by one. Neil would laugh, Shane would agree, Michael ignored, but I listened intently. I'm not sure why. Shane's home life was pretty normal I guess. I probably hung out with him more than any of the guys, but his loyalty would always be to Craig.
For the longest time I thought that Craig had something on everyone, and used to pressure people into friendships. I guess that's why he never really trusted me, he didn't know enough about me. He kept us all against each other slightly enough to keep us sharp. He told me the girl that Shane like, and called her ugly. He told me that Neil jerked off to his mothers bra. He also told me that they each said bad things about me, but not to say anything. I'm sure that he said the same to them. Neil was emotional, and I always felt that he worked hard to be friends with Craig. It was difficult for Neil because of his background. Neil was half Japanese and named after Neil Diamond. He should've been the target of everyones ire, but few mouthed him off once they knew that he had a black belt. Neil could fight well, and always had his back up. Craig could say any outrageous statement that some guy possibly said and he'd go nuts. He lived ten minutes in the other direction on a tomato farm. Their home was beautiful and very neat. I always felt like I was mucking the place up just being inside. The first day that we ignored Michael, Neil beat him pretty good by the bike rack over a so-called rumour about him. Before he started punching Michael made a plea with him. He said remember the way Craig treated you? Remember how bad you felt when you were on the other end? Why would I say something that would obviously get me beaten and isolated? Neil didn't care. I saw Michael cry that day, but I believe it was because he'd lost his friends, not because the beating hurt.
These guys were relentless, and I was now apart of it. the first week was hard. Five days of ignoring and separating Michael from the social circle. The following week was easier. Craig had started some rumours about Michael and he got whooped by some older kids. A month went by and half the school had heard that not only had Michael sucked dicks, he also had AIDS. The second month brought insatiable beatings, the girls in the class learned that Michael had no penis, and that he was adopted. Before I knew it I was kicking him when he was down. I was lying to my parents about things that Michael had apparently said. Even the teacher pulled him to the office for calling her a bitch, which he didn't do. Whenever Michael would gain the littlest amount of dignity, Craig would destroy it. We had broken him down to nothing.
When Michael stopped coming to school, everyone thought that he was faking it. He was indeed not well. The anxiety of going to school had given him ulcers. The humiliation and ridicule was so intense that it made him sick to his stomach. The boy that spent everyday outdoors was now hiding in his basement afraid of everyone. Everything he'd ever told Craig about himself was now public knowledge, and being used against him. Our teacher had asked if anyone would be able to drop off some homework to him, but no one volunteered. We were still making fun of him while he lay in pain at home. After a few moments Craig put up his hand and I feared the worst. The teacher didn't know, or care about the dichotomy of the school, so she sent the enemy to his door. I don't know what went down, or what was said, but Craig came back with fire. From Michael jerking off in the window, to him saying he was going to kill Neil, to claiming that he fucked Lisa(the hottest girl in school) Whatever happened, Michael returned to school under the impression that everything was okay. That the grudge had been dropped, and that Craig wanted him back in the crew. He believed that after all he endured that they him again. He was wrong. His hopes were crushed the moment he dismounted his bike. Neil thrashed the frail looking Michael until he wailed like a baby. The crowd and myself, cheered. Michael was the social piraya, only Amy looked on with concern, but would never show it. Michael wouldn't want anything to happen to her. Through tears he scanned the crowd, but saw no support. It had been three months since we started the alienation, and there was only three weeks left until summer. The week before we were out of school, someone spray painted, "Michael Murphy is a homosexual" across the wall of the canning plant in large childish printing. The plant was on the street that Michael lived so all of his neighbors, and family could see that an entire elementary school didn't like him. I don't know for sure who did it, but I suspect it was Craig. When you're going into the last year of elementary school, it's suppose to be the best summer of your life. For me it was filled with long days, swimming at Davidson's Pool. I was surrounded by friends, we camped out in the backyard, and went to the lake. Somewhere alone on his nineteen acre farm, the Michael Murphy that I'd known briefly, had died. But something unexpected was born out of isolation and neglect, it was imagination.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Status
Michael had grown up in the Ridge and went to Alexander Robinson Elementary starting in kindergarten. There he met Shane, and Neil. They were all the same age and had lived within ten minutes of each other. The Ridge was mostly farm land at that time, so everyone lived ten minutes from each other. Craig was year older but had failed grade one, and that's where they met him. I've often wondered how stupid I could be to follow someone that failed grade one. Things were different before I'd arrived. The four of them were inseparable. Small towns can be a difficult place to meet new people, let alone new friends. The school was small, the kids there were the off spring of people that had never left, and never will. There were families that were crammed into a two bedroom ranchers, then mansions a block away. It was starting to become a place where people that were wealthy could purchase a wonderful spread and live beyond their means. The rest of us were moving from shitty townhouses closer to the city, to an actual house in a subdivision of look-a-like homes. I was happy I didn't have to share a room with my brother anymore, but I was sure that the Ridge was ten years behind.
I had never seen so many trees in my life. Around every corner was a forrest deep and dense, and as far as you could see. The locals rolled in beat up trucks wearing worn out overalls, and rubber boots. Kids at school would talk about seeing bears, and shooting their dads guns. I was terrified. My brother Scott and I stuck together like glue the first few months. Our parents thought it was great that we were so close, but we just didn't know how to interact. Worse was the fact that each group of kids had such a tight clique that they seemed impenetrable. The bell would ring and these little gangs of redneck children would form, eyeballing each other outside the sand box. Some would retire to the far side of the field, which backed onto an actual field. Plumes of cigarette smoke would rise, as the teacher on duty would be pulling on her own dart, stealing a light from a grade 7. The entire recess was the reckless warriors circling the school. You'd be watching your back on one side because the older kids would be coming by, then muscling up the younger kids at the corner. The school had been operating this way since Michael started. And few ever bucked the system. The only time I saw a true revolt is when a new student, Jeff Johnson, started. All recess and lunch the tough kids laid down the law, and the rules. They pushed, shoved and intimidated with extreme vigor, because Jeff was a pretty big kid. At the 3 o'clock bell, Jeff beat the shit out of two of the toughest kids I'd ever seen. The next day Jeff was the king of the school, and the kids he'd beaten were his minions.
I sat by the monkey bars eating my lunch while Craig, Clayton and the rest sat staring up at the wooden play fort. The fort was the key to the dominance of the school. Craig's older brother Chris stood atop letting everyone know that if they climbed the ladder, they would be beaten. Chris' crew stared everyone down, including Craig. I'd even seen Chris lay a beat on Craig a few times and it was vicious. Chris was a monster, and you could see Craig becoming one. Craig and Shane conspired about going to the store across the street and shoplifting some candy, Neil sat quietly, and Michael walked over to me. I'd spoken briefly to him in class, but never anything substantial. He grabbed on to the bars and swung back and forth. I glanced up from my sandwich and caught his eye. "He's gonna get you after school you know" Michael said upward to the sky.
"What?" I replied nervously
"Craig told Neil that you told someone that you were tougher than him"
I tried to take another bite, but couldn't. I looked up to see Craig leaning into Neil's ear. His cheeks puffed with each grit of his teeth. He stood up and began to walk towards me intently. I scrambled to get my food back into the paper bag, but before I knew it I was face to face with Neil. Clayton dropped from the bars and stood there shaking his head. Neil shouted something at me, but I was caught up in the fact that Craig was staring at Michael
"Mikey? What the fuck are doing over here?"
Michael defiantly looked away. "He didn't do anything" he mumbled
Craig walked right up to his chin. Neil turned away from me and stood loyally behind Craig.
"Is this your little faggot friend? You got sick of fucking that fat bitch Amy?"
It's funny to think how much trash we could talk considering that none of had even kissed a girl. At the moment I thought I was safe, Neil turned and punched me in the gut. I fell in a pile amongst the wood chips. Was this the moment Clayton Magnet was born? Michael turned and walked away.
"Mikey! Mikey! If you fucking walk away, I swear to god, Mikey" Craig yelled.
Their focus had completely switched. The teacher on duty finally made it over to the play area and asked what had happened. I lied and said that I fell. Craig liked that. He nudged Shane as they stormed away.
After lunch, the classroom had this air of tension. Craig was whispering things to Neil and Shane constantly. He told the girls in class that Michael had a tiny dick, he told the other group of boys that he called them pussies. It was a relentless campaign. I even got involved when I heard from other people that it was Michael that had punched me in the stomach. I never denied it. I've felt bad about possibly contributing to the creation of this alter-ego, but he assured me that everything was cool between us. I'll never forgive myself, even if he did. The mood became a little more playful as the day continued, and by final bell Craig had invited Michael over after school, but he declined and rode away on his blue banana seat bicycle. I started to walk home with Scott when Craig, Shane and Neil approached me. I was scared at first, Scott hid behind me. Neil apologized for hitting me and told me that Michael had encouraged him. Craig interrupted, "Michael's been saying a lot of things about you, and all of us. So starting tomorrow, we're going to ignore him."
I nodded, but I wasn't sure how this affected me. Scott told me to stay away from Craig, but what did he know, he was only ten. I didn't have any friends, or people to hang with, and now one of the most popular cliques wanted me. I feel like I didn't have a choice. It's Elementary school, social status from here could affect my high school status, and that was only two years away. By the time I was going to bed that night I decided to become apart of Craig's crew. It was one of the worst decisions I ever made.
I had never seen so many trees in my life. Around every corner was a forrest deep and dense, and as far as you could see. The locals rolled in beat up trucks wearing worn out overalls, and rubber boots. Kids at school would talk about seeing bears, and shooting their dads guns. I was terrified. My brother Scott and I stuck together like glue the first few months. Our parents thought it was great that we were so close, but we just didn't know how to interact. Worse was the fact that each group of kids had such a tight clique that they seemed impenetrable. The bell would ring and these little gangs of redneck children would form, eyeballing each other outside the sand box. Some would retire to the far side of the field, which backed onto an actual field. Plumes of cigarette smoke would rise, as the teacher on duty would be pulling on her own dart, stealing a light from a grade 7. The entire recess was the reckless warriors circling the school. You'd be watching your back on one side because the older kids would be coming by, then muscling up the younger kids at the corner. The school had been operating this way since Michael started. And few ever bucked the system. The only time I saw a true revolt is when a new student, Jeff Johnson, started. All recess and lunch the tough kids laid down the law, and the rules. They pushed, shoved and intimidated with extreme vigor, because Jeff was a pretty big kid. At the 3 o'clock bell, Jeff beat the shit out of two of the toughest kids I'd ever seen. The next day Jeff was the king of the school, and the kids he'd beaten were his minions.
I sat by the monkey bars eating my lunch while Craig, Clayton and the rest sat staring up at the wooden play fort. The fort was the key to the dominance of the school. Craig's older brother Chris stood atop letting everyone know that if they climbed the ladder, they would be beaten. Chris' crew stared everyone down, including Craig. I'd even seen Chris lay a beat on Craig a few times and it was vicious. Chris was a monster, and you could see Craig becoming one. Craig and Shane conspired about going to the store across the street and shoplifting some candy, Neil sat quietly, and Michael walked over to me. I'd spoken briefly to him in class, but never anything substantial. He grabbed on to the bars and swung back and forth. I glanced up from my sandwich and caught his eye. "He's gonna get you after school you know" Michael said upward to the sky.
"What?" I replied nervously
"Craig told Neil that you told someone that you were tougher than him"
I tried to take another bite, but couldn't. I looked up to see Craig leaning into Neil's ear. His cheeks puffed with each grit of his teeth. He stood up and began to walk towards me intently. I scrambled to get my food back into the paper bag, but before I knew it I was face to face with Neil. Clayton dropped from the bars and stood there shaking his head. Neil shouted something at me, but I was caught up in the fact that Craig was staring at Michael
"Mikey? What the fuck are doing over here?"
Michael defiantly looked away. "He didn't do anything" he mumbled
Craig walked right up to his chin. Neil turned away from me and stood loyally behind Craig.
"Is this your little faggot friend? You got sick of fucking that fat bitch Amy?"
It's funny to think how much trash we could talk considering that none of had even kissed a girl. At the moment I thought I was safe, Neil turned and punched me in the gut. I fell in a pile amongst the wood chips. Was this the moment Clayton Magnet was born? Michael turned and walked away.
"Mikey! Mikey! If you fucking walk away, I swear to god, Mikey" Craig yelled.
Their focus had completely switched. The teacher on duty finally made it over to the play area and asked what had happened. I lied and said that I fell. Craig liked that. He nudged Shane as they stormed away.
After lunch, the classroom had this air of tension. Craig was whispering things to Neil and Shane constantly. He told the girls in class that Michael had a tiny dick, he told the other group of boys that he called them pussies. It was a relentless campaign. I even got involved when I heard from other people that it was Michael that had punched me in the stomach. I never denied it. I've felt bad about possibly contributing to the creation of this alter-ego, but he assured me that everything was cool between us. I'll never forgive myself, even if he did. The mood became a little more playful as the day continued, and by final bell Craig had invited Michael over after school, but he declined and rode away on his blue banana seat bicycle. I started to walk home with Scott when Craig, Shane and Neil approached me. I was scared at first, Scott hid behind me. Neil apologized for hitting me and told me that Michael had encouraged him. Craig interrupted, "Michael's been saying a lot of things about you, and all of us. So starting tomorrow, we're going to ignore him."
I nodded, but I wasn't sure how this affected me. Scott told me to stay away from Craig, but what did he know, he was only ten. I didn't have any friends, or people to hang with, and now one of the most popular cliques wanted me. I feel like I didn't have a choice. It's Elementary school, social status from here could affect my high school status, and that was only two years away. By the time I was going to bed that night I decided to become apart of Craig's crew. It was one of the worst decisions I ever made.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
in the begining
I try and think back to where my life started, but get caught up in the details. I can't remember anything about the very beginning, so I assume that when people say that, they mean what they can actually remember. I remember a snow covered patio, and my sister and father making a snow man, while I screamed from within the house. I remember the feeling of shag carpet under my toes as I walked my first steps. Clear as day I remember my mother and sister embraced and crying as my father backed his blue Camaro out of the driveway for the last time. I'm sure that what happened between 0-5 were some important moments, but I barely recall. On my fifth birthday I swore up and down that a witch flew past my window, but I never told anyone that. There were Christmas gifts, Easter egg hunts, and spring break at the grandparents. Things were fine. That was my life, Michael James Murphy. A well spoken boy with a strong imagination. But that's not who this is about. This is about Clayton Magnet.
My first inclination that Clayton was different, was after school one day in November. We were probably eleven years old and the whole world was four square miles of farm land, subdivisions, and Alexander Robinson Elementary School. Clayton skipped home after being beat up for the seventh consecutive day. There was a confidence that existed even though it appeared his life was in constant peril. It had become as if the trickle of blood from his nose to his lip, was a badge of honor. He would later opine that being beaten up by kids his own age was a welcomed relief from his home life. "At least I stand a chance against them" Even though I never saw him hit back. Into adulthood Clayton was a staunch pacifist, and few knew why, but I'd seen the evidence first hand. That day after school, Clayton walked with another social out cast, Amy. The rumours had already begun about the two of them, and it was only elementary school. Everything was a lie anyway. Craig Robertson and his cronies trailed behind the two of them hurling insults. His thrashing of Clay earlier was clearly not enough. I'm sure that why he was always smiling afterwards, just to piss them off even more.
Amy got to her home in time for her stepfather, John, to scream at her to make him something to eat. He was scary guy. He scratched his rough beard and stared at Clayton at the end of the driveway. "What the fuck are you looking at?" Clayton's smirk answered for him. The other kids including Craig walked by with their heads down. This crazy bastard was known for picking up shovel and chasing people. And it wasn't a threat, you actually got the impression that he was going to swing. But Clayton didn't care. He stared right back. It was getting to be quite obvious that Clay could take a beating. When I think back now I wonder if he was aware of how fearless he was, if he was keeping a list of names in his head, or if he was just that crazy. John flinched his arm back as if to strike, but from fifty feet away, Clayton wasn't moving. He reached over and grabbed the shovel and started to sternly walk towards Clayton. He wasn't moving. Face to face he whispered something threatening to Clay, and I swear a single tear started to form in his eye, but he wasn't moving. John drew back the handle to swing. Amy ran out of the house screaming, and John held up the spade right before impact. Amy's tears ran down her face, her little brother wrapped in her arms. The corner of Clayton's mouth went up with a slight chuckle. He peered around John's skinny frame and said goodbye to Amy. His eyes met with John's, and for the first time, there was fear in there. "Get the fuck off my property you fucking crazy faggot". Clayton adjusted his backpack and turned to walk away. I watched him close his eyes tightly, as if to expect getting hit once his back was turned, but it never came. He exhaled and began to walk.
Some people claim that he ran once John brandished the shovel, others say he beat Clay to the ground, but I was there. I watched the entire thing. From that moment on, I was sure to be aware of the potential that Clayton had. I also wondered, for the first time, what his life was like outside of the school day. I'll never forget the image of him strolling down the long road to his house. It was like a western, and he was heading off into the sunset. The sound of Amy getting her licks filled the air. She felt the brunt of John's misplaced anger. She was weak, she had the fear, and he sensed it. He went back to dominating his household, now that the hero had left. I'd always seen Clayton at school, but I never spoke to him. He rarely spoke to anyone. I was new to the school from the year before, and was just attempting to fit in. Craig Robertson and his pals, Shane and Neil, had created a very uneasy situation. They wanted me to be part of their little crew, but I wasn't sure. Their most recent exile was Clayton, and when it fell apart they destroyed every chance at normal elementary life. Stories about Clayton being gay, stealing, saying things behind people's back. It went on and on, and when you're eleven this is important shit. Most of their day was dedicated to ruining Clayton's life.All this before the 3:07 beating that he'd taken for over a week. After this day, I decided to be strong, be an independent. Clayton had taught me in one moment about right and wrong. It was the day that I decided to start a lifelong friendship with a very unique individual. These are the adventures of Clayton Magnet.
My first inclination that Clayton was different, was after school one day in November. We were probably eleven years old and the whole world was four square miles of farm land, subdivisions, and Alexander Robinson Elementary School. Clayton skipped home after being beat up for the seventh consecutive day. There was a confidence that existed even though it appeared his life was in constant peril. It had become as if the trickle of blood from his nose to his lip, was a badge of honor. He would later opine that being beaten up by kids his own age was a welcomed relief from his home life. "At least I stand a chance against them" Even though I never saw him hit back. Into adulthood Clayton was a staunch pacifist, and few knew why, but I'd seen the evidence first hand. That day after school, Clayton walked with another social out cast, Amy. The rumours had already begun about the two of them, and it was only elementary school. Everything was a lie anyway. Craig Robertson and his cronies trailed behind the two of them hurling insults. His thrashing of Clay earlier was clearly not enough. I'm sure that why he was always smiling afterwards, just to piss them off even more.
Amy got to her home in time for her stepfather, John, to scream at her to make him something to eat. He was scary guy. He scratched his rough beard and stared at Clayton at the end of the driveway. "What the fuck are you looking at?" Clayton's smirk answered for him. The other kids including Craig walked by with their heads down. This crazy bastard was known for picking up shovel and chasing people. And it wasn't a threat, you actually got the impression that he was going to swing. But Clayton didn't care. He stared right back. It was getting to be quite obvious that Clay could take a beating. When I think back now I wonder if he was aware of how fearless he was, if he was keeping a list of names in his head, or if he was just that crazy. John flinched his arm back as if to strike, but from fifty feet away, Clayton wasn't moving. He reached over and grabbed the shovel and started to sternly walk towards Clayton. He wasn't moving. Face to face he whispered something threatening to Clay, and I swear a single tear started to form in his eye, but he wasn't moving. John drew back the handle to swing. Amy ran out of the house screaming, and John held up the spade right before impact. Amy's tears ran down her face, her little brother wrapped in her arms. The corner of Clayton's mouth went up with a slight chuckle. He peered around John's skinny frame and said goodbye to Amy. His eyes met with John's, and for the first time, there was fear in there. "Get the fuck off my property you fucking crazy faggot". Clayton adjusted his backpack and turned to walk away. I watched him close his eyes tightly, as if to expect getting hit once his back was turned, but it never came. He exhaled and began to walk.
Some people claim that he ran once John brandished the shovel, others say he beat Clay to the ground, but I was there. I watched the entire thing. From that moment on, I was sure to be aware of the potential that Clayton had. I also wondered, for the first time, what his life was like outside of the school day. I'll never forget the image of him strolling down the long road to his house. It was like a western, and he was heading off into the sunset. The sound of Amy getting her licks filled the air. She felt the brunt of John's misplaced anger. She was weak, she had the fear, and he sensed it. He went back to dominating his household, now that the hero had left. I'd always seen Clayton at school, but I never spoke to him. He rarely spoke to anyone. I was new to the school from the year before, and was just attempting to fit in. Craig Robertson and his pals, Shane and Neil, had created a very uneasy situation. They wanted me to be part of their little crew, but I wasn't sure. Their most recent exile was Clayton, and when it fell apart they destroyed every chance at normal elementary life. Stories about Clayton being gay, stealing, saying things behind people's back. It went on and on, and when you're eleven this is important shit. Most of their day was dedicated to ruining Clayton's life.All this before the 3:07 beating that he'd taken for over a week. After this day, I decided to be strong, be an independent. Clayton had taught me in one moment about right and wrong. It was the day that I decided to start a lifelong friendship with a very unique individual. These are the adventures of Clayton Magnet.
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